To the Chicken
by kazlene
Summary: Pure ridiculousness featuring Scootaloo and how she is not a chicken.


Scootaloo stomped her hooves in frustration upon the wooden a is of the crusaders clubhouse.

"I am not a chicken!" She squawked, her voice cracking in the middle of chicken.

Her two friends and fellow crusaders were rolling on the floor in front of her, laughing. Laughing at that stupid, lame drawing that those, those boys, had drawn. Scootaloo, a chicken! The idea was pre- prep... Ugh, the idea was just plain stupid! She buzzed her wings in frustration.

"Sorry scootaloo , ah know it ain't true, we both-" Apple Bloom hot the still giggling Sweetie Belle "know it ain't true, but ya gotta admit those Snips and Snails can sure draw a funny picture."

I grumbled under my breathe, looking at that Picture. We had found it sitting on our little table in our clubhouse after class. It lay there, drawn on that crumpled piece of paper, taunting me with its messy, crayon written 'SQUAWK' over that orange chicken. It barely even looked like her! And who's ever heard of a orange chicken. And a purple beak? She tried glaring daggers at that scrap of rubbish. Unfortunately nothin came out of her eyes, which she figured could be good. Imagine how much that'd hurt!

Anyways, with those daggers failing me, I glare nothingness for a few more seconds before plopping my orange behind upon the cold splintery floor of our handy dandy trusty club house.

"Sorry guys, I didn't mean to yell at you two. It's just, I'm getting tired of being called a chicken or being teased for being unable to fly. Everyday Rumble and even Featherweight are flying all around, and I heard even little Pound Cake can fly."

I let out a huff, blowing a drooping lock of purple mane out of my eyes.

" Aw cheer up Scootaloo, with Rainbow Dash giving ya them flying lessons you'll soon out fly all of them!" Apple Bloom said trying to reassure me, her yellow fore hoof draping across my shoulder.

"Yea, with ketchup!" Piped up innocent little Sweetie Belle.

I burst out laughing at that, soon Apple Bloom did too, her hearty laugh covering mine. The two of us looked at each, my purple eyes meeting her ripe apple orange. We grinned both a mischievous grin, and with a subtle nod...

"DOG PILE!"

Yellow and orange bodies piled upon the sweet marshmallow body of Sweetie Belle, who upon impact let out on of her famously adorable squeaks, causing both me and my coconspirator Apple Bloom to laugh even harder and attack her poor little body wih tickles!

We were so absorbed by our fun we didn't even here the creak of the saggy wooden plank stairs or the rusty hinge squeak of the clubhouse door before-

"What in the hay is going on up in here?! Apple Bloom what did I talk to you about just the other day, use protection for Celestia's sake!" Apple Bloom's older sis bellowed from the doorway.

For some reason Ape Bloom's face slowly redden until the difference between her mussed up mane and her face could hardly be made. And she let out a squeak almost, but not quite, as adorable as Sweetie Belle's.

I decided to speak up " Protection? Whatever for? We were only tickling each other, it wasn't likely we were bear wrestling again."

Applejack nervously took a step back, her right hoof nervously running through her ponytail under her ragged hat. Apple Bloom was slowly going back to her normal vivid yellow, and well, Sweetie Belle and I just sat there confused. Normally it was Sweetie Belle's sis, Rarity, who would tell us to wear protection. Even for the boring stuff, like pillow testing.

" I'm sorry Applejack if we were too loud, I didn't mean to squeal that loud, I'm really ticklish. I bet I wasn't as loud as your pigs. I've heard them at feeding time, sometimes we can even hear them all the way down in the school house! Could I help feed them sometimes? I bet Rarity wouldn't even let a pig in to her precious boutique, not even one of your special, clean, prize winning pigs!"

I stared at Sweetie Belle. All that in one breathe. Boy could that filly ramble, I think if not for the stares she would've continued too.

"Well, Ah'll let ya all get back to whatever in the hay you were doing. Apple Bloom, remember our talk now and Ah want you home before dark, ya hear?" Applejack flipped her long, luscious blonde mane over her muscular, well formed shoulder, a bead of sweat having magically formed, just to slowly roll down that prime piece of flesh. And then she just left leaving nothing but some muddy old hoof prints on our floor.

"Well.. that was odd." I turned to look back at my friends.

Apple Bloom was still red, almost as if she had just turn bright red again, probably from embarrassment from her sister's odd behavior. And Sweetie Belle...Sweetie Belle was trying to catch, with her mouth, a stray lock of hair, kind of like a little puppy chasing after its own tail.

I face hoofed.

[b]CRASHSHSHSH[/b]

I looked up from the intricacies of my hoof to see Sweetie Belle, purple and pink tail in the air and her own hind legs in her face, fallen over.

She mumbled out some sort of unintelligible jibberish, something along the lines of, I think, "Oh no, I forgot I promised I'd help Rarity with her gem hunting" either that or she was just commenting on the deliciousness of cotton candy mane. I'd eat that mane any day of the week.

Apparently it was the first thing and Sweetie Belle ran off, as fast as she could with that blue school bag of hers back to the seam with library books, blergh. And shortly there after Apple Bloom left me too, saying something about trying to get her brother Big Mac to teach her to buck as good as he did. Me, I made up an excuse about just wanting to finish up my homework in the clubhouse, was my thinking spot and all. I claimed.

As I drug down my purple feather down sleeping bag from the grasping branches of the very top of the club house tree, I watched as Celestia's sun set and I got an idea. We always try for daytime activity cutie mark, what if mine was something to do with the night!

I finished setting up my little bed in the corner and then leaped into preparations. Up in the attic of our clubhouse, yeah we are so cool our attic has a tree house, we still had a bunch of fabric from a bunch of previous activities. I dug around, eventually falling in, whereupon I discovered the secret realm of dust ponies and their treacherous ways, until I can across the darkly colored cloth. Perfect. I draped the cloths across my back and over my wings as I headed over to the little box that held the needles, thread and scissors. I was going to make me a stealth suit. Eyup.

I ended up with a cool looking stealth suit and all...but somehow I ended up with bunny ear. I don't even remember cutting out bunny ears. Deciding it still looked pretty epic, about twenty percent more epic then when it was just cloth, I donned it. Actually never mind that, I'm just going to say put the epic outfit of awesomeness on, who even says donned.

Tiptoeing out of the tree house like a real ninja warrior I headed towards I looming Everfree forest. With its reputation I'd be sure to get a cutie mark there. I decided to take the path leading by Miss Fluttershy's little cottage, that path after all had the best trees and bushes to duck and cover behind, why I bet I could take that path to the Everfree even on the most crowded, well light day!

I paused by Fluttershy's, it looked like something was going on. The chickens were in an uproar and I was surprised Fluttershy was sleeping through it. Maybe a manticore broke into the chicken coop! I could get a cutie mark in dangerous animal taming-y stuff... Meh I just wanted to see what was going on. As stealthily as I could gallop I raced around the side of Fluttershy's cottage, sticking to the bushes so my element of surprise wouldn't be blown.

My eyes widened as I heard the voices of my two bestest friends in that din. I stuck my rabbit eared head through the nearest bush, of course a spiny, pokey rose bush and peered upon the mass chaos that was the scene before my very own, disbelieving eyes.

It appeared all the chickens in Ponyville, not just Fluttershy own chickens after all, had turned out to be here tonight. patrolling the sides of the crowd was that dastardly villain, Angel Bunny, carrying a hefty carrot like a police pony's nightstick. And if the scene of a mob of arguing chickens wasn't enough to make my mind explode and then slowly melt like ice cream on a hot summer's day, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were at the front. Wearing crowns. As giant chickens.

"Quiet my Minions, for tonight we shall feast upon the delectable pony kidneys. For too long have they stolen your eggs, for too long have they feed us simply dried up leftover corn, tonight we will feast!" Crowed the Sweetie Chicken, her pink and purple comb flapping wildly during her speech, and her normally innocent pale pony orbs, beady little birdy eyes were combing the crowd.

My left eye had started an uncontrollable twitching and it all came to an end when Miss Fluttershy woke up and stuck her head out of the bedroom window, the blue mane of the most famous pop star, Sapphire Shores behind her.

"Um...if you would all mind keeping it done out there...if you don't mind that is...we are trying to sleep."

I fainted.


End file.
